I have established this blog in order to foment a revolution against “author” John Green and his brother and partner, Hank Green. Both of these bespectacled nimrods have cast a long shadow over Youtube. John Green, in particular, manages to make an annoyance of himself through his “successful literary career.”

A Known Windbag of this Parish

Hank Green, a self-proclaimed “ecogeek” and healer of worlds, manages to promote the enterprise mostly through folk music and low quality cross-dressing. This makes him the more redeemable of the pair, though obviously the standards we are working with are quite low.

Possibly the Smarter of the Two

The Brothers Green have primarily made themselves known through things like: drinking blenderized Happy Meals, talking to themselves at airports, eating Peeps until they throw up, and answering many questions in keening, unmanly voices. John Green has attempted to justify all of this by occasionally reading some Literature of Quality–but, of course, you can put a pair of pants on a monkey, but it is still a monkey.

Have we sunk so low that these are our cultural heroes? How long, my Lord, how long?

It ends today, and the first battle will be fought here. Won’t you join me . . . in the name of literature, in the name of taste, and in the name of all that is good?